Chastity August 14
But if you see him doing the same thing again on some other day, even after your admonition, then whoever had occasion to discover this must report him as he would a wounded man in need of treatment (Rule of St. Augustine 26).
It is not just the act of infidelity that should concern the confrere-observers, but also other signs that a brother may be sexually troubled. Even if he does not act out his desire for another, the confrere can be suffering a deep frustration which may lead to inappropriate conduct or an exclusive relationship with someone. The need of love and affection normally associated with sex should be satisfied in non-sexual ways. Otherwise, the confrere could pursue material security in an exaggerated way. If the confrere has not found a non-sexual way of giving life, e.g., through his work, he could become a manipulator of others, making them dependent on him. Without a non-sexual way of caring for the sexual tension in his life, the confrere can turn to drink or other means of escape. He could frantically search for prestige or begin to suffer psychosomatically. In the end, without legitimate recreation, he could turn to pornography or other bizarre expressions of sexual behavior. All these signs of frustrated sexuality demand a compassionate intervention.
No one can squeeze the abscess on his own back. (Bamileke)
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